Anxiety.

325/i365: The fact I am Alive and capable of posting pictures of my fortunes to flickr, is reward enough

Anxiety #1: Do the Math:
The summer’s coming to an end. I’ll confess I blew the first exam (of 4) in trigonometry. I got a 61%. A sixty-fucking-one percent! WTF!? What’s worse is when it was returned to me, and I had to look it over to make sure I knew what I got wrong, I knew how to do a bunch of them and had no idea why I did what I did on that test. Admittedly, some life drama (good drama though) had happened two days prior to the test. I blew it. When Prof. Kadala handed it back to me, he said, “You’re still in the game.” which I appreciated. I studied more, and knew my second exam was going to determine whether or not I could even pass with a C. Thankfully, I got a 90% on the second exam, so I am definitely still in the game with a solid C now. (75%). I had so much doubt after the first score though. Wondering if I am smart enough to continue in the major I’ve chosen. It gets tough when you’re an older, returning student. You don’t get to fuck up as much… or you can, but it costs you a lot more in the long run. I am pretty confident I’ll pass. But, I still have to study.

Anxiety #2: I’m not very handy:
My right (dominant hand) hand has suffered from pain. I think working on the cash register at B&N this summer probably accelerated it. I slam my hand into that cash register to get people’s change in a timely manner. The head manager gets upset when we don’t work fast enough, or the lines are too long. It’s honestly a bit unpleasant at times, but I deal with it. I’m almost 100% sure they’re gonna put me on cash register this weekend during the busiest shifts. I am working 5 days in a row. Last night, at least, I worked in customer info which doesn’t tax my hand nearly as much. I should have perhaps spoken to someone about it, but since resigning last week, didn’t wanna be a baby about things.I was slated for hand surgery at the end of the month, but having second thoughts about it, I’m seeking a 2nd opinion.

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