I’m not good at saying no

04/09/16 - it's the #weekend! #miifoto #miitomo #mii
When my internship wrapped up at the end of my final semester I started to worry about having no job, and nothing to do. In light of that, I decided to get some experience while having fun and helping out by volunteering at the same place I was interning. I was looking forward to it, and pleasantly surprised to land a part-time job 2 weeks before graduating. This meant I had less time to volunteer, but I still wanted to do it because it seemed like a fun thing to do. Then I started to learn that my volunteer shifts had already been planned-out for me, and were different from tasks required of other volunteers. I was told by 2 of 3 supervisors that they already had projects in mind for me based on my resume and past experience in IT and digitization/preservation. These projects require me to work outside of volunteer hours, and it has been suggested by two of 3 of the supervisors that I should do so. I was told to log my time worked outside on the volunteer calendar. In both cases, I was never asked what I wanted to do, and whether or not I wanted to do these things .. just told this was how they wanted to use me. In retrospect I wish I’d just walked away at that instant. But, I hate disappointing people. Been that way since small-kid time. I feel dysfunctional, trapped, and conflicted. Maybe this is all gonna be good for me? My instinct, however, is to walk away, but it’s hard.

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