Only when very tired, do I manage to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. Otherwise, I seem to awaken… wide-awake, and full of anxiety. Is it healthy? It doesn’t feel healthy.
There are times when all I want to do is sleep and forget about reality. That was my coping mechanism as a young student, I think. I would shut down, and sleep all the time. I try not to do stuff like that these days, but once in a while have felt my brain getting too tired to function and it shut down.
The mass amounts of caffeine can’t be helping. On the weekends, I fall into a mini-coma at times and nap throughout the day. I don’t know if my body can take much more of this. I mean to say, I think it can, but do I want it to?
Sometimes, I think back to my life in IT. I wasn’t very happy, and felt depressed and lonely, and miserable much of the time, but didn’t have to worry about money, or time. Just a droning existence.
Which is better? Am I messing up my life financially and forever with this decision to pursue higher education in a totally unrelated field?
Just some questions I ask myself…