Read the Book.

Biology (51/365)
A boring-ass picture from boring-ass biology lab

For the first time this whole semester, I read a chapter we were assigned to read out of my Mastering Biology textbook. I can’t stand biology. I find it incredibly boring. I know. I should stop– But, it’s just not my thing! A lot of people in my class seem to love it and are either premed, or biology majors. (I’m studying to become a registered dietitian).

Biology’s just not my cup of tea. In fact, it’s more like a cup of cyanide.

If you wanted to make me really sad, you could tell me I have to take microbiology and BIOL 172. Then, I’d be way sad… but fortunately for me, I don’t have to!! Yippee!!! I do have four more semesters of chemistry, which makes me happy! One of those courses is called “The Chemistry of Food” and is an FSHN course, so I don’t know how much actual Chemistry is involved there, but still.. I’m excited.

But yeah, like the title of this post was saying, I read the book… and for the first time, I did pretty well on the online quiz. My sister and my friend Rich each looked at me like I was a moron when I exclaimed how much easier the chapter quiz was after reading the book. Yes. We are on chapter 10, and no, I have not read an entire chapter out of that accursed book until this past Sunday. I hate biology.

It says a lot that I enjoy math more than biology this semester. But I do!!! I enjoy my professor’s cool animations on his powerpoints, the clicker games, the funny stories and jokes, and anecdotes. Yes, his humor is IN-CRE-DI-BLY DRY, but that’s what makes it so awesome! I especially loved the story about the catnip tree… (You had to be there). It’s so borderline bad, that I find myself manically amused. And it’s not easy to feel that way. Ever. Things like that don’t just happen!!! You can’t just have catnip trees without cats and you know… um…

I like math more than I like Biology. I like working out at the gym more than I like biology. You could offer to pay me $50K to change my major to Biology and I would throw that money back into your face and kick you. (Not hard, but I would have to kick you). If you read my blog you already know I like Chemistry. Not sure if that will change or not but so far, I enjoy it.

Seriously though, biology’s not so bad. I kinda liked the photosynthesis chapter that I read… I guess I will have to continue to read the book from here on out, now that I know it’s, you know.. helpful.

Yeah. This is an ode to my knuckle-headedness.

Posted in ramblings, rants, school | Tagged , | Leave a comment

B+

Yeah Science! Ionic Reactions Lab (56/365)
Lab was fun (as usual) today :)

It shoulda been an “A” but I got a B+ on that chemistry exam… I scored an 86% and could see that on one of the problems, I’d written down the correct answer, and then stupidly (was I on crack that day?) circled the wrong answer, despite knowing what the right one was. I don’t know why I make stupid mistakes like that, but it was a 4 point question, which would have given me a 90% if I’d just circled the right answer, which I’d written right next to the question. What a maroon!

But yeah. I guess at least I know I could have had an A, if not for my carelessness.

Some people looked really depressed about their scores today. I felt kinda happy, but didn’t wanna gloat or anything, so I didn’t really ask anyone how they did. When he handed me back my quiz, he said, “Just what I said you’d get. Good job.”

I was happy overall, until I saw my super stupid mistake of circling the wrong answer. I don’t mind getting something wrong because I was mistaken, but to know the right answer then circle the wrong one, was just so cracked out.

I felt bad, but was kinda cold towards the guy who’s been hitting on me. I really just don’t want to encourage him. I think he wanted to know what I got on the quiz, but I was tuning him out today, and didn’t show it to him. Just didn’t feel like it.

In a weird move on my part, I had a celebratory club house sandwich at Zippy’s and some froyo for dinner.

Posted in school | Leave a comment

Covert Dating and the Importance of being Not Nice, Not Cute, and Not Quiet.

The young guy in my class texted me on Thursday to ask me to study with him. I texted back that I wasn’t on campus, (I was on my way but didn’t want to meet up with him), and got no further replies that day. Good. After last week’s terrible Valentine’s Day pseudo-date, which I was tricked into, btw, I was determined not to be fooled again!

On Friday, he showed up for class, and I decided I was not gonna say anything to him unless he forced me to acknowledge him. He didn’t, thankfully. But it’s super uncomfortable since he sits right in front of me. Maybe I should move? Shit. I wish he’d just stop coming. He withdrew from the course, but told me he asked the professor if he could continue to attend lectures. Why? I have no idea, but hope it isn’t related to me. But all my friends are pretty sure it is because of me that he’s coming… and I kinda think it might be true. If I rejected him in a harsh way, I think he’d stop coming to class. I just don’t have it in me though. I have a hard time being rude to people — even people who are rude to me. He really isn’t being honest with his intentions, and has been rude on more than one occasion, but I still can’t bring myself to just tell him off. It would help if he’d man-up and ask me out formally instead of this bullshit he’s been pulling. Grr!

Later, Friday night, he tried calling me while I was out with a friend. I did not answer it. He left no messages. I stared at the phone in disbelief, feeling violated somehow. I agreed to go to a ball on February 9th. Nothing more. This guy is trying to make this into something more without coming out and asking me. I hate pussyfooting. No guts, no glory. If you have the intention of dating a lady, don’t dick around and pretend you’re just hanging out. Make your intentions clear. Jesus H. Christ!

I want this guy to finally state what he’s trying to do so I can reject him; or to just stop doing anything. I never initiate contact, yet receive texts every week. I’m sick of it. I always get mixed up in stupid drama. It makes me think it’s somehow my fault.

At the beginning of the semester, someone I respect said to me, “You’re quiet, and you’re nice, and you’re cute, so you probably end up doing things you don’t want to do, because you’re quiet, and you’re nice, and you’re cute, and men will take advantage of that.” And I looked at him in disbelief. I asked, “How did you know?” and explained how I’d been asked to a ball on the first day of school, and didn’t want the rest of the semester to be awkward, so I’d said yes even though I didn’t really want to go… and he just grinned at me, and said, “There you go.”

The jury is out on whether or not the rest of the world sees me as quiet, nice, and cute, and therefore easy to take advantage of.

Mostly, I just feel stupid.

Posted in ramblings, rants | Leave a comment

Believing in Me, Makes Me Scared

Chemistry - 8/365
Our most excellent textbook

Chemistry. Who knew I’d enjoy it?

Tomorrow, is the first Chemistry exam of the semester. I so badly want an “A” in this class. I took this same Chemistry 161B class at LCC back in 1998, but dropped it. I was a terrible student, and had learned I wouldn’t need to get a B.S. in Computer Science, since they had just created a B.A. program for it. The 1998 version of me, never did the homework or studied, and quickly began failing the course. The lectures were great, but without doing the work, there was no way to learn all the material.

Fast-forward to the present, and interestingly enough, I have the same exact professor from 1998. He was pretty young back then, so he’s still someone I consider young today. (He’s only about ten years older than me). He didn’t remember me when I spoke to him on the first day of class, but it had been 15 years, and I did drop the class within the first two months of the semester. When I started registering for courses in December, I saw he was still teaching, and knew he was the best instructor I could get. So far, he hasn’t let me down. He works hard for his students; his lectures are great, and the structure of all the quizzes, homework assignments, labs, and lectures complement each other in such an elegant way, that if you’re doing all the work, you should have all the answers and tools you need to progress to the next step.

We had a quiz on Friday, and apparently much of the class couldn’t do one of the problems that I could. He told me he thought I could get an “A” on this test. I told him, “I’ll be happy with a ‘C,'” to which he replied, “You’ll get a B+.” I just laughed. I didn’t want to aim too high. It’s too much pressure when someone expects good things from me. I have a hard time letting anyone down– especially someone I respect like my sensei’s or instructors.. my parents, etc. So, this added more pressure, but also has been motivating me to want that ‘A’ even more.

Chemistry’s my favorite class. I get to use a lot of logic and problem solving without quite understanding how to do math, so it’s right up my alley! The lab experiments are a lot of fun… I get to use the bunsen burner, and the little pyro in me gets shiny-eyed each time I get to light the flame. My professor also makes the class a lot of fun and is one of the best instructors I’ve ever had. Oh! Even the textbook is pretty good!

But honestly though… I think I’m gonna end up with a B.

Posted in ramblings, school | 5 Comments

Valentine’s Day 2013 – Kinda sucked.

Awkward Valentine (45/365)
The flowers I got on Valentine’s Day…

On Valentine’s Day, I had a slew of studying to do, and made it a point to go to school early to knock some homework out. The young man who asked me to the ball this past weekend, texted me to ask if I’d like to have lunch with him. I didn’t really want to, but was about to take a break for food, and replied I was doing homework, but could take a break.

I cringed internally, as he walked up to me with flowers. He is just too young. And in my mind, I asked myself, “Did I just get myself into a Valentine’s Day date?!” Crap. I joked about it on twitter, and tried to make the most of it, but in reality – this day made me both mad, and sad.

We ended up going to a sushi place in Aiea. It was his choosing. I don’t eat white rice, but did that day. He told me how he disagreed with how I cut out sugar and white rice from my diet. He also tried to make me eat a lot more food than I’m used to eating, even after telling him I have a family history of heart disease and have worked for five years to bring my cholesterol down. He ordered a dessert and insisted I try some. He seemed bothered that I couldn’t finish my whole lunch, and I watched him eat two lunches, while also peeking at my watch from time to time, wishing I was back at school to finish my homework which was due the next day.

In feeling more comfortable around me, he began to talk a lot more, and often kind of told me what to do.

This all became entirely too irksome. The more I listened to him talk, the more I wanted to get out of there. He dropped the Chemistry class we were in together, but plans to keep attending classes and audit it. He said he now has a lot more spare time since dropping the class, and felt a lot better and could now “Hang out like this.” To which my inner-self yelled, “Hey guy, I don’t have spare time. I didn’t drop the class!” He also talked to me as if I didn’t understand Chemistry (probably because he wasn’t understanding or doing well in it)… Yeah. That was also way friggin’ irritating. Take notes gentlemen. This is how NOT to get a lady.

And then, to top things off, he said, “You study a lot, yeah? I should study with you.” Which I didn’t really reply to. My inner-self was yelling: “OH, HELL NO!” I only agreed to go to a ball. Not to become a study buddy.. not to be a Valentine, and not to be talked-down to. So, I’m done. I’m just gonna be “busy” from now on.

I returned to campus holding those flowers, which felt like a big burden in my hand. I probably should have felt appreciative, but that lunch made me mad. I didn’t have enough time to finish my homework before math class since we took 3 hours to get back to campus. I felt like a marked woman with those flowers dangling from my left hand on Valentine’s Day. Like someone had tagged me and sent me out into the wild, ensuring I would never find happiness again.

A bit melodramatic, I know, but I get weird about Valentine’s Day. I’d much prefer to be alone than with someone I’m not romantically into.

VDay 2013 was a total bust.

Posted in ramblings | 2 Comments

Making “A”

Physical Science (43/365)
A picture of my favorite building on campus… The building where I get to play with fire!

Today, I got the results of last week’s first math exam, and could hardly believe it: I got an A! Granted, it was not a high A (92.5%), but an A nonetheless!!! I can’t really recall ever receiving an A on a math exam in high school or college, and think the last time might have been in elementary school. Wow. I still kinda can’t believe it. This is my first A of the semester! I am seriously doubtful I’ll be able to pull off another A on next week Wednesday’s Chemistry exam… Thank goodness next Monday is a holiday.

Posted in ramblings, school | Tagged | Leave a comment

My First Ball

The Army Ball took place outside the Mighty Mo: (40/365)
A picture from the deck of the Mighty Mo

Yesterday, I went with Isiah to the Army Ball. A little backstory… On the first day of Chem lab, he asked me if I’d go with him. Turns out he had to find a date by the end of the day and submit his form, and he’d only found out that weekend that he needed to find a date. I was super flattered that he asked me. But in the time leading up to it, I started to dread the event for a number of reasons– mostly due to my own dysfunction.

By the time the event was near, I was pretty stressed out at the very thought of it. There were three main things stressing me out:

1) A Gown. I had to buy a gown. Not only did that cost money, but I always feel self-conscious in dresses. I have a very poor body image, despite the fact I am about as thin as I was in high school. Also, I have a tattoo over my heart, which shows in cleavage-revealing clothing. I got the tattoo for my father, so it is highly personal for me and remains covered much of the time…

2) My makeup. On a daily basis, I wear Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm, and some eye shadow. I never learned how to apply makeup. Macy’s salon told me it would be $50 starting for a makeup session.

3) My hair. I don’t know how to style hair. My mom, was a beautiful cosmetologist woman, who raised two tomboy daughters. As a result of my refusal to be girly growing up, and having many technical jobs in male dominated fields, I strayed away from my femininity. I had no freaking idea how to do my freaking hair. Macy’s salon also quoted an additional $50 starting for hair styling.

Problem #1 was solved in a shopping trip to Macy’s. I got a black gown, which showed almost my entire chest tattoo (rare rare rare for me), but I liked the gown, and think I can always wear it to another event. I’d lost weight between the time I purchased it and the event itself, so I panicked a little yesterday, when I put it on and realized it was roomier than before, and showing more of my chest than I was comfortable with. But, I do like the dress. No cleavage mishaps at the event itself, AND, I got it on clearance! Win-win.

Problems #2 and #3 were solved in the form of my awesome sister and Karma’s babysitter, Marge. Marge did my hair and makeup for FREE! wow. She apparently enjoys doing it, and never charges. I tried giving her money at the end, and she refused to take it. She put all my hair up and curled it, and never in my life have I ever had someone do my hair and makeup before. Men are lucky… they don’t have to go through as many gyrations as women. I sat in that chair for 2 hours getting my hair and makeup done. Hoo boy. Marge’s work was pretty awesome though. I didn’t look like me, and that was the point. Yay! It was kinda fun, actually.


I liked what Marge did with my eyes.

Isiah was a pretty cool dude. He still had his dress green uniform since he’d been waiting for his dress blues for a few years. But his uniform was the best one there, imo. I think the dress blues are kinda tacky and look like band uniforms. The greens are more classic. And, he was the handsomest guy I saw all night. He’s twenty-three though, so I don’t think of him romantically, but he’s cute, smart, and a really nice person. He’s interested in pursuing nutrition and kinesiology… which is related to my major in dietetics. So, we had a LOT to talk about. He was really cool, and I didn’t feel like I was talking to a younger person. Just a person, and I’m glad for that.

The ball took place on Ford Island, alongside the Mighty Mo, (U.S.S. Missouri), and it was an impressive event. We were allowed to go up on the deck of the ship and walk around, and I was the only person who ordered the vegetarian dinner (which was pretty good)! Everyone seemed to think I was overall weird for ordering it, but I enjoyed it. Isiah had me try his steak and fish, and I was even more glad I got the vegetarian dish in truth. lol!

We left early, and went to Aloha Crepes in Waimalu to get snowflake. OK – my first time trying that. It’s hard to say no to Isiah’s enthusiasm for food, so I followed his recommendation and got a honeydew / green tea combo, with yogurt pops and condensed milk. He is always thinking about flavor combinations. He actually recommended lychee pops, but I switched it to yogurt. He got himself Pinacolada and Lychee with condensed milk and lychee pops. It was pretty cool. We ate it in his car, and it got so cold we had to pause from eating. lol! He then took me home, and we sat and talked a while before I went into my sister’s house. Overall, a pretty great time. He’s honestly a good guy, from what I could tell. I was highly impressed that he always tried to make sure to pull out my chair and push it in when I sat, or open and close the car door for me… etc.

It was kinda amazing to have a guy pay for everything, and do all that chivalrous stuff for me. I offered to help pay, and he told me no. It was nice to have someone treat me like a lady… even if I’m old enough to be his… aunty.

Thank you, Isiah. I had a great time.

Posted in milestones, ramblings | Leave a comment

My Head Lights a Cigarette Inside My Mind

All these years, I thought the lyric was: “My head lights a cigarette inside my mind…” but it’s “And my hand lights her cigarette inside my mind”

I like mine better.

Posted in music, ramblings | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

But yeah, at least the biology test is over. God Dammit.

Microscope (30/365)
Brandi taking a photo of a cellular organism for BIO lab

I got a 77.6% on the first Biology midterm. That is a lot better than I expected, considering I didn’t get to study much this weekend (I got sick), and I had so much other homework to do… (much of it BIOLOGY)!!! Man. I hate Biology.

Today, in Biology Lab, Christian asked me which high school I went to. I said Mililani, which is where he went.. but I said – there’s no way he would know me. And he was like: Why? And I asked him: “What year were you born?” and he said 1994. I told him, “I graduated from high school in 1993.” Then everyone listening tripped the fuck out. I mean, really. How ageist, right? Lol! Well, they were nice about it, at least. But they instantly assumed I didn’t want to look as old as I was, but I don’t feel too old, you know? But maybe that is the hallmark of being old and un-hip? Not thinking you are old and un-hip, that is. (Not to mention use of the word “un-hip”).

Brandon, told me he thought I was 22 years old. And the other people said things like, “Don’t even worry about it,” when I mentioned I am one of the oldest people in the class. Someone else said I had “good genes” and looked really young. I think that’s sweet. I said I wished that I looked older though, mainly so my professors would know.

But yeah. So, that happened. And it felt both good and bad. I felt like a stupid little kid again, in my baggy pants, and think the beige shirt I wore today also was not working for me.

Earlier that day, I had run into my CHEM prof. on my way to Biology, and talked to him a bit about the quiz we had in Chemistry. I told him that quiz was weird — that it had such ugly answers, and I wasn’t sure whether or not I got them right. He said something to the effect of: Well, what did you expect? And that he had to make it interesting.

My brain, wants to believe I got 100%, but I imagine he will find errors on there, and there’s no way I got a perfect, even though, I felt I aced it. But he said I was doing the “adult thing again” and stressing things too much. Which, kinda made me feel stupid. But yeah. I guess I do care too much sometimes. But my problem the last time I was in school, was that I cared too little, so perhaps I am overcompensating a bit too much.

Maybe I just need to get really plastered, but wait a minute… I’m too old for that shit.

Posted in milestones, ramblings | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Sick

I’m a little bit sick this weekend. Such bad timing, really. There are two exams (Math and Bio) coming up this week, along with all the usual biology homework, some chem homework, and an extra credit opportunity on Friday for Chemistry.

How awful to get sick now, but hopefully I can kick this before the actual exam days are here. It started Friday with a slightly sore throat. It progressed through the weekend, and is still at sore throat status. I’ve been popping zicam, emergen-C, and trying to drink fluids, chicken soups, and that kind of thing all weekend.

Studying hasn’t really been going so well. I tend to fall asleep as soon as I start reading biology. Hoo boy. I should actually be studying right now, but of course I’m procrastinating and writing on my blog.

I attempted to make some crazy anti-sick concoction on Friday, with ingredients from Safeway… but it did not work out. Ah! I hate being sick, but really… who likes it? No one. But what timing! I also have the ball coming up at the end of the week, on Saturday. Wish me luck!

Diamond Head as seen from the roof of Safeway on Kapahulu (32/365)
A photo taken from the roof of the Kapahulu Safeway

Posted in ramblings | Leave a comment