sunday night anxiety

i was a bad girl
A custard dessert from the LCC cafeteria – one of the many foods I’ve been cheating with recently

This weekend, feelings of optimism started to fade. I’m still an optimist, but always a realist as well (I try to be, anyhow). My brain feels dumb. I’m not as smart as I’d like to be.

I studied the worksheet given to us by Prof. Seffrood, on differentiation (the chain rule) over and over again. With the chain rule, it’s easy to forget stuff if you’re me. I just kept plugging away at it and trying to get consistent answers. I have a quiz tomorrow which I’m filled with major anxiety about.

Been slacking on my diet for the past few weeks– as well as exercise. It needs to stop. I’ve gained weight and I can feel it. I think about my dad and how weak our hearts are. I’m being dumb. The e-cigarette habit I picked up this summer has to stop. Note to self: Stop being an idiot. Once I finish the ones I have, I won’t buy more.

It was sad to hear Lou Reed passed away today. Stu introduced me to The Velvet Underground this year when I asked for a recommendation on angsty music. I loved his recommendation of the album, Loaded. It led me to listen to some other releases by them, as well as some of Reed’s solo work this year. R.I.P.

Weekend wrap-up:
Fun stuff:
Friday lunch with Christopher at Sikdorak
Friday evening shopping with Rich (very brief jaunt to DonQuijote)
Cruising between studying with Sifu (Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday)
Ran on Saturday morning (3 mi.)
Watched the World Series on Saturday, and tail end on Sunday: (I’m rooting for Boston)
Watched The Walking Dead (meh)
Blogging and other Internet nonsense

The “responsible” stuff:
Studied Friday night, Saturday, and some of Sunday (differentiation and some implicit differentiation)
Studied Chemistry (Sunday morning only)
Shopping – Target
Mild cleaning

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